I agree- california resorts are terrible for snowboarders and skiers hating each other. maybe obama will instill a sense of peacefullness that will transfer over to all snow riders. Yeah right.
For me, it's not about whether you ski or snowboard (or telemark!), but whether you are respectful to other riders. Staying in control is a big one for me. I can't stand it when a skier/snowboarder/telemarker just goes straight down the hill and then makes a few jolted, desperate hockey turns to slow down. I also really don't understand the new school outfits, but as long as someone is respectful I won't worry myself with their clothes.
Have you ever seen how many facebook and myspace groups there are about "Skiing is better than snowboarding" or "Snowboarding is better than skiing"? It's no surprise to me that you felt a vibe about this in California...
I'm over on the east coast and it really depends on where you are and the age group. Some areas are more respectful then others. Older riders say above 30 are mature and respectful for the most past, the same with skiers. It seems to be mostly a maturity issue and how kids are raised. Right now my friends tell me I'm not cool because I ski. (again with the maturity right?) I'm 24 and have been skiing since i was 3, I love the sport. In general I'm just getting more and more fed up with ski areas and the snobby inconsiderate people who terrorize the land. stashing cash, and hope to get into ski mountaineering and more off the beater path stuff.