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What Your Ski Bindings Say About You | UNITED STATES, WYOMING | 11/25/2009, by powderjunky
Every one of us has his or her own style. Whether you are a pro shredder or a no talent ass clown, everything from the way we dress to the gear we use tells a story about who you are. Here is what your bindings say about you:Note: This list was made from snowboarders, skiers, and Canadians. If you find it offensive, please email us your physical address and we will send you a sense of humor.
 Hammer Head Telemark Bindings |
Hammer Heads My quads are too weak for traditional telemark bindings. I like anything that is spring loaded. I can drop a knee faster than Paris Hilton. |
 Fritschi Freeride binding |
Fritschi Being a liftie, I don't have enough money to buy Dynafit compatible boots. The two inch pedestal helps me cope with my Napoleon complex. These were the only bindings I could get a deal on. |
 Alpine Trekkers Binding |
Alpine Trekkers I don't like skin tracks over 5 degrees in steepness. I have also bought the Bowflex, Oxy-Clean, and Ginsu knives, the ones that can cut through a shoe, which I then used to cut my climbing skins. I may or may not own a beacon, but I do have Recco in my jacket and will probably return these after the first time I use them. |
 Dynafit bindings |
Dynafit I have the best bindings in the world, therefore I am the best downhill and uphill skier out there. I generally have 10% more smugness than most and prefer tight fitting Patagonia pants- not to show off my bulge, but because they fit my unnaturally long legs perfectly and allow me to stride like a metro-sexual moose. I don't remember the last time I laughed at myself, I enjoy the smell of my own farts and I would drive a Prius if only it was all wheel drive. |
 Marker Duke Bindings |
Marker Dukes I still secretly enjoy groomers and moguls. I can ski out of any avalanche. My pants have room for two and I have no toe nails from skinning in my alpine boots. To increase my overall awesomeness, I also wear a full face mask helmet. When I am thirsty I usually have a PBR handy at all times. I can use the words bro or dude interchangeably as a verb, noun, adjective, conjunction, preposition, interjection and/or past participle. |
 Black Diamond 01 Bindings |
Black Diamond O1's I got into telemarking because it used to be cheaper than the alternative, now I feel jaded that telemark gear is just as expensive as my arch nemesis, Monsieur Randonee. I love the fact that every turn looks deeper than it really is and how I get completely covered in powder. Thus, since snow is technically water, every time I ski, it technically counts as a shower. I dream of the day when Birkenstock creates a binding where not only the heal is free, but the toes also. I like to drink out of Nalgenes, but immediately switched to aluminum during the BPA scare. |
 Split Board Binding |
Split Board Bindings Like cigarettes in middle school I took up snowboarding because it was cool. Like having my shoelaces tied together I venture into the backcountry and hope there are no flat traverses. I am not scared of avalanches despite the fact I have no way to eject from my bindings. I prefer style over functionality. |
That's Our Opinion. What's Yours?
First Trax Max wrote on 11/25/09 at 5:44:10 pm pst:
Silveretta-
I am really old and I am thinking about getting a cell phone....
Freeheelgirl wrote on 11/26/09 at 09:26:55 am pst:
Tele bindings say "I don't mind getting sucked to the bottom of an avalanche."
AT bindings say "I can't tele." :-)
I ski G3 Ascents....
PatOrion wrote on 11/30/09 at 09:23:36 am pst:
Telemark: Norwegian for "Hey, wait up"
Dynafit Low Tech: "Damn I look good in Spandex!"
powderjunky wrote on 11/30/09 at 10:25:05 am pst:
Nice!
Freeheelgirl wrote on 11/30/09 at 2:55:05 pm pst:
Oo, snap! to us telemarkers! :-)
Seth wrote on 11/30/09 at 8:25:12 pm pst:
Ramer Plate And Pomoca Skins-
Mohair is back! Get some.
Jason wrote on 12/01/09 at 08:21:43 am pst:
Fritschi for the versatility from the resort to the bc with the same comfy boots. EPIC!
Swiss Miss wrote on 12/02/09 at 8:49:00 pm pst:
3 pins and leathers: I'm old and all this new gear is too heavy. Back in the good ol' days....
charles wrote on 01/01/10 at 7:35:38 pm pst:
hey! snowboarding is awesome. we bite it the hardest but look the coolest when we're flying down the mountain 20% slower than skiers at our fastest. but that's fine, that's why snowboarding is calling 'riding'. we're there for the ride... and so are the snow bunnies who take us back to their hotel rooms.
Kurt Levy wrote on 03/03/10 at 08:36:27 am pst:
Check this link, I think Mountrosexual is the correct term for the Dynafit owners.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mountrosexual
powderjunky wrote on 03/03/10 at 09:54:36 am pst:
nice!
Mount A today. wrote on 04/24/10 at 07:49:32 am pst:
I'm with Swiss Miss: Leather, Rotafella cables, camber and a half skis, fish scales. The backcountry is the backcountry after all. Ski prepared!
