2008, by powderjunky

Like an old wrinkled naked loner guy is to hot springs, the onslaught of early-season-boot-caused-foot-pain is to skiing. Nobody knows why it’s there and everyone can’t wait until it is gone. It always takes my feet a little bit of time to lose all the new nerves my feet regrew during the summer. If you are a climber you have half a chance to get by without a problem but for the rest of us who don’t spend the off season squeezing our feet into places they don’t belong, here are some ideas to get through the pain:

The first and obvious choice is ibuprofen or for those who can afford name brands, Advil. Take enough of this stuff and you can be sure you’ll be skiing from dawn to dusk with no pains, especially in your feet! But how much is enough. Generally I would recommend rapid and often consumption until you develop a slight hole in your lower stomach. Ideally you take enough pain pills so you won’t notice the new hole, the internal bleeding or the foot pain.

If you value your internal organs more than your external extremities then fear not, our next method involves a simple kitchen knife and a kindergartner. Keep that knife handy while you are skiing and at the first symptom of unbearable foot pain, have your kindergartner take the knife and stab you in arm. It will hurt pretty bad and make you forget all about that foot pain! You’ll probably want to hit that kindergartner, but what kind of person would that make you?

Lastly if none of the above mention methods seem appealing, you can always switch to snowboarding!

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