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New Avalung Increases Survival time to record breaking 5 hours under snow | UNITED STATES, UTAH | 04/01/2010, by McGaperAvalung allows buried avalanche victims to breathe under the snow for up to 90 minutes. However the new Avalung scheduled to launch next fall has just kept a skier alive after being buried for over five hours.
The Black Diamond rep was hesitant to tell us exactly how the new technology works but we finally got it out of him after bribing him with ho-hos and tasty Triscuit crackers. Apparently Black Diamond dubbed the newly improved device, aptly, the AvaBong.
The Avabong works the same as the regular Avalung, with slight modifications for skiers to pack a bowl of their favorite cannabis into the inner chamber of the breathing apparatus. The outside of the chamber is coated with a very sensitive material similar to that found on a match book strike pad. When a skier gets caught in an avalanche, the friction of the snow on the strike pad material creates sparks and ignites the grass. Once the victim is buried, they are forced to inhale the THC which then puts them into a comatose state, slowing down breathing, while increasing heavy thinking. This allows victims to stay calmly buried with an ear-to-ear grin for over five hours with little notice of how much time has actually passed. Rumors of a possible collaboration with Skull Candy Audio Head Wear, to pass the waiting-to-be-dug-up-time with some Pink Floyd, are circulating, but not confirmed.
Recovered victims were reported to be medically fine with a strong desire for Mac & Cheese. One bug they are trying to work out is the accidental ignition when the Avabong inadvertly scrapes a tree or rock while skiing, however testors didn't seem to mind.
Due to Utah's anti-fun policy, most of the product testing has been done in Oregon, Colorado, California and Michael Phelp's basement. The local backcountry skiers who witnessed the product tests first hand thought the Avabong might be a little redundant with their current safety rituals.